My Guy

With Father's Day thoughts still lingering, I thought I'd write a little about my favorite "father", the guy I chose to be the father of my children. My husband, Bob, always wanted to be a part of a large family. Maybe that's because he was from a small family. When he was a little boy at Bryce Canyon his mother would often find him in the middle of a large family who were gathered and had allowed him to join them. When we were married we shared the desire for a large family. That, as we all know, is easier said than done! However, Bob was anxious for each child as he/she arrived, received each with great joy and never hesitated or indicated in any way that we'd had enough, right down to the end.

When the children were little he loved to wrestle with them, often telling them they were "winners", holding up their arm and tickling them as he said it. Now he does that with the grandchildren. They resist, but love it! Life wouldn't have been much fun without Dad. I am too much of a "nose to the grindstone" kind of parent. It was Dad who wanted to take trips, have new experiences and make life fun. He always went on the Father & Sons or Ward Family campouts, enjoyed a good hike and much to the disgust of the children, loved to take "short cuts" to try a new way to get somewhere. They usually took us much longer than necessary. To this day they are hesitant to get in the car with him for fear they'll never get out.

Bob is a wonderful skier and has taught all his children and grandchildren to ski. He's spent many a vacation focused on sharing this love with little ones and rejoicing in their accomplishments, always praising them and building their confidence. We have taken many a ski trip that we could not afford. Thanks to Uncle Stuart and Aunt Helen, our accommodations were often provided as we took our family of 11 and joined their family of 8 for a week at spring break. Last March 49 of the 51 of us went to Deer Valley. I believe all but the 4 who were under 2 were on the slopes at one time or the other. What fun to see the slopes covered with all these people we love so dearly. (Thanks, Julie, for arranging it)

It seems to be human nature to want to provide for your family what you feel you missed in your own growing up years. Bob was raised in a part member home. His mother was a totally active, believing member of our church and the two boys joined her, but the family was limited in their participation because his dad was not a member. Though he was very supportive of her membership, they were not able enjoy all the blessings of the gospel she would have liked. In spite of that, the boys served well in their little branches in Ketchum, Idaho and Bryce Canyon and honored their Priesthood, served missions and were both married in the temple.

Inspired by returned missionaries at Bryce Canyon, Bob wanted to raise his family with a total commitment to the gospel. His zeal is obvious to his children for better or for worse. It has given him many opportunities to serve, has lead him to devoted personal daily scripture study and made him anxious to be prayerful and seek guidance from the Lord in his decisions. He tries to set a pattern for our children and grandchildren and takes great joy in their efforts to make good choices and develop admirable character qualities. We are so grateful for each one.

One important job for a father is to teach his children how to work. Luckily, Bob was an entrepreneur and often had his own business which made it easy for him to find appropriate work for his teenage children. In addition we had a large home and yard which required all of us to keep up. Daily and Saturday tasks were a must for each one. The opportunity to earn and manage his own money has proved to be a great blessing to each of them as they have taken on adult financial responsibilities, making them very responsible and we are grateful.

Bob has always loved his children and believed in them. He tried to teach them to pursue their dreams and not be afraid to venture into new experiences. He certainly set that example as he pursued business ideas with a mixture of success and failure but, regardless, they saw him face each with the same even nature, always looking forward to what could yet come, finding the next opportunity while never dwelling on the past.

We raised our children with very limited finances for the most part but provided for them what we thought was appropriate and needed at the time. Gratefully, it all worked out. Each who needed braces, got them. We were able to assist with education and provide a small inheritance at an early stage to enable the children to get into their own homes or choose other opportunities for learning. Bob took the full responsibility for providing, allowing me to be at home with the children through it all. With a degree in History and Business and no advanced degrees, he learned and grew, was very blessed with opportunities and made them work for us. Today he is a very much loved and respected man. Many are grateful for his service as he devotes his full time effort to advancing their opportunities for growth and employment. He never asks for anything for himself. Every cent he spends is to take care of his responsibilities or bless the lives of others.

As the children have grown it seems I'm always the one communicating with them and then translating the information to him, but I see how much he enjoys a good visit, is delighted when the children call and is even learning to initiate the calls. He's a modest man and not extremely demonstrative with his love and concern but his feelings are deep.

It's been 45 years since I chose Bob Pothier to be my husband and the father of my children, and I'm grateful beyond words that I made that decision.