Mortality

I read obituaries. I know, it probably comes from entering my stage of life. Actually, I mainly look to see the younger people who have died and always wish they would say "why" they died. I try to figure it out but it usually isn't evident. I'm so much more in touch with my motality these days. In the past months Bob and I have lost very dear friends, just adding to the number we have lost in the past. We realize that the number will only increase. It really makes me think about my own mortality and how precious life is. It makes me wonder how long I will live, what the quality of that life will be and how I can make the best use of the years remaining

Bob is constantly telling me that I need to write. I know he is right. What is not written will be lost. Those we learn from in scriptures are the ones who wrote. The rest are unknown. Two things remain from our lifetime of experiences, thoughts and education . One, the impact they have had on others and two, the person we become. These two things we "can take with us", but there are generations yet to come who will never know me personally. I love them and care deeply about them and would like them to know me, to learn from my mistakes and be taught from my experience...how common these life experiences are to each of us. My greatest hope is that I can live a productive life, focus on blessing the lives of others and overcome my weaknesses. Life has blessed me so much...can I expect that those blessings will continue? I surely hope so.

Life is short. Death is a reality. It makes me sad to think that a whole life of living, learning and loving is summed up in one little article, a one hour service and its over. How I hope that the life I live will live on in the lives I can bless, the writings I can leave and the person I become.

Universal truths strike a familiar chord in any faith

The Sacrament

I read an article that really struck me. I want to save it and share it. It was written by Jerry Johnston. He referred to Henri J.M. Nouwen

“a Catholic who worked at a home for the mentally disabled in Canada where he died. His genius...lay in his ability to find universal truths in his own religion that could be translated effortlessly across into the faith traditions of others. Just as flowers come in a thousand shades and sizes, but have the same working parts—petals, stem, leaves—Nouwen could find the common element we all share” .

Referring to readings from Nouwen’s book, The Life of the Beloved , Johnson summarized:

“Nouwen’s feeling that when the Savior blessed the bread and gave it to his disciples at the Last Supper, he was doing more than showing them the purpose of his life. He was showing them the purpose of their own lives as well. Just as he took the bread, blessed it, broke it and gave it away, he was teaching his apostles what It meant to live a spiritual life. At some point, a religious soul must find himself taken by God; he must feel that God has claimed him as his own. Then he must be blessed and broken (or, in the order of the LDS sacrament, “broken and blessed”) He must have his pride broken down, his appetites, his selfishness—everything that hampers spiritual growth. This can take some time.

Jerry Johnston added:

“I think, in the LDS Church, that is where the commandments come in
Fasting and chastity break down our natural desires
Tithing breaks down our attachment to money
Submission to authority breaks down our lust for power
And service breaks our quest for glory.
The world must eventually be abandoned.

Once we’ve been taken and broken—like the bread—we are blessed—blessed with new hearts. And then—like the bread—we are to be “given” away. We must go out and find others and bless their lives as well.

Nouwen says that, over the years he came to see the bread at the Last Supper as the key for his life. I don’t know if he ever thought his insights would end up in the Mormon section of a newspaper, but I suspect he wouldn’t be surprised by that. For Henri Nouwen, as with most spiritual souls, truth had to speak to every human heart to be of true value. He had spoken to my heart many times.”

This certainly gives me some food for thought and makes it all tie together with such purpose. I'm so grateful for the C.S. Lewis' and the Henry Nouwen's in this world who have such insight into truth.

My Guy

With Father's Day thoughts still lingering, I thought I'd write a little about my favorite "father", the guy I chose to be the father of my children. My husband, Bob, always wanted to be a part of a large family. Maybe that's because he was from a small family. When he was a little boy at Bryce Canyon his mother would often find him in the middle of a large family who were gathered and had allowed him to join them. When we were married we shared the desire for a large family. That, as we all know, is easier said than done! However, Bob was anxious for each child as he/she arrived, received each with great joy and never hesitated or indicated in any way that we'd had enough, right down to the end.

When the children were little he loved to wrestle with them, often telling them they were "winners", holding up their arm and tickling them as he said it. Now he does that with the grandchildren. They resist, but love it! Life wouldn't have been much fun without Dad. I am too much of a "nose to the grindstone" kind of parent. It was Dad who wanted to take trips, have new experiences and make life fun. He always went on the Father & Sons or Ward Family campouts, enjoyed a good hike and much to the disgust of the children, loved to take "short cuts" to try a new way to get somewhere. They usually took us much longer than necessary. To this day they are hesitant to get in the car with him for fear they'll never get out.

Bob is a wonderful skier and has taught all his children and grandchildren to ski. He's spent many a vacation focused on sharing this love with little ones and rejoicing in their accomplishments, always praising them and building their confidence. We have taken many a ski trip that we could not afford. Thanks to Uncle Stuart and Aunt Helen, our accommodations were often provided as we took our family of 11 and joined their family of 8 for a week at spring break. Last March 49 of the 51 of us went to Deer Valley. I believe all but the 4 who were under 2 were on the slopes at one time or the other. What fun to see the slopes covered with all these people we love so dearly. (Thanks, Julie, for arranging it)

It seems to be human nature to want to provide for your family what you feel you missed in your own growing up years. Bob was raised in a part member home. His mother was a totally active, believing member of our church and the two boys joined her, but the family was limited in their participation because his dad was not a member. Though he was very supportive of her membership, they were not able enjoy all the blessings of the gospel she would have liked. In spite of that, the boys served well in their little branches in Ketchum, Idaho and Bryce Canyon and honored their Priesthood, served missions and were both married in the temple.

Inspired by returned missionaries at Bryce Canyon, Bob wanted to raise his family with a total commitment to the gospel. His zeal is obvious to his children for better or for worse. It has given him many opportunities to serve, has lead him to devoted personal daily scripture study and made him anxious to be prayerful and seek guidance from the Lord in his decisions. He tries to set a pattern for our children and grandchildren and takes great joy in their efforts to make good choices and develop admirable character qualities. We are so grateful for each one.

One important job for a father is to teach his children how to work. Luckily, Bob was an entrepreneur and often had his own business which made it easy for him to find appropriate work for his teenage children. In addition we had a large home and yard which required all of us to keep up. Daily and Saturday tasks were a must for each one. The opportunity to earn and manage his own money has proved to be a great blessing to each of them as they have taken on adult financial responsibilities, making them very responsible and we are grateful.

Bob has always loved his children and believed in them. He tried to teach them to pursue their dreams and not be afraid to venture into new experiences. He certainly set that example as he pursued business ideas with a mixture of success and failure but, regardless, they saw him face each with the same even nature, always looking forward to what could yet come, finding the next opportunity while never dwelling on the past.

We raised our children with very limited finances for the most part but provided for them what we thought was appropriate and needed at the time. Gratefully, it all worked out. Each who needed braces, got them. We were able to assist with education and provide a small inheritance at an early stage to enable the children to get into their own homes or choose other opportunities for learning. Bob took the full responsibility for providing, allowing me to be at home with the children through it all. With a degree in History and Business and no advanced degrees, he learned and grew, was very blessed with opportunities and made them work for us. Today he is a very much loved and respected man. Many are grateful for his service as he devotes his full time effort to advancing their opportunities for growth and employment. He never asks for anything for himself. Every cent he spends is to take care of his responsibilities or bless the lives of others.

As the children have grown it seems I'm always the one communicating with them and then translating the information to him, but I see how much he enjoys a good visit, is delighted when the children call and is even learning to initiate the calls. He's a modest man and not extremely demonstrative with his love and concern but his feelings are deep.

It's been 45 years since I chose Bob Pothier to be my husband and the father of my children, and I'm grateful beyond words that I made that decision.

Pedicures

Don't you just love to get a good pedicure? I do. I had my first one for my 50th birthday. My sweet daughter-in-law, Angela, talked me into it and went with me. Once after that I've received a certificate for a pedicure for my birthday and somehow, I got "hooked". Now when summer comes I look forward to a trip to Arizona and a pedicure. Well, I was out shopping with Gracie for her birthday this month and mentioned that I was getting a pedicure the next day. She suggested that getting a pedicure together would be a good birthday present. I thoroughly agreed and we immediately got an appointment for the next day. We both received a french pedicure. Don't you think we look fine? Gracie wanted to be sure there was at least $5 left over from her birthday money, and you know what? There was! Now I look forward to having a pedicure with each of my granddaughters. It was so much fun and a great memory for both of us.

Book Club

In 1978 I joined a book club in our home ward and still consider myself a member today. The group had been meeting for 6 years when a member moved. They decided to invite someone to take her place. Fortunately, I was one of three who were recommended and we all were included. This group has seen me through every stage of life, having babies, dealing with teenagers, going through menapause, adjusting to grandparenting and now facing the challenges of aging. We've read the books that matched our stages all the way along. Some have fulfilled missions and then returned to "book club" to report their adventure. In April I made a trip to Arizona and one of the "tender mercies" of the Lord allowed me to attend a Book Club evening. How great it was to be with my "sisters" again, feel their spirit and get rejuvenated. It felt kind of strange, however, to realize that they were all meeting, reading, discussing, etc. just as if I had not left! I'm hoping to attend the December couples Christmas dinner when I'm there for Christmas. I still consider myself to be a book club member, even though I am away and will one day return to them again. How grateful I am for that group and all we've learned together. It was often our "therapy". Each member is different and that's the joy of it! Thank you book club sisters!

"Just Keep Pedaling"

I just returned from a "short" trip to Arizona and was feeling a little sad yesterday as I returned to rainy cold weather. I swear, spring lasts forever here in Idaho and it's wet! That anticipation of summer starts to get old. However, it is green EVERYWHERE and beautiful so I must just be patient and "keep pedaling". That's a phrase I picked up this morning that I hope will help me get out of the dole drums and move forward. I read an e-mail letter from a former T/A who is currently on a mission and I figured it fit. Sometimes, we just have to keep pedaling our way through the down times until we get to the top again. I worry sometimes when I get feeling so "blue" that I will end up struggling with the depression that seems to have found itself into my family genes and I don't want that to happen. My father struggled with it for years and it has cropped up in some of my brothers and their grandchildren. It's something to be aware of and I'm hoping I've dodged that "genetic bullet". I do find, however, that I have to learn to manage those feelings to help keep them from getting the best of me. So today, I'm going to "just keep pedaling and work it through. Somehow, whenever I can see that I'm making progress, it lifts my spirits. Let's hope I can see some today.

LDS.org - Music Downloads

LDS.org - Music Downloads

Once in a Lifetime Opportunities

Last week we had what was most likely a "once in a lifetime" opportunity to have a whole week with our daughter, Annie and her 4 month old baby, Andrew. How often do you ever get your children to yourself again once they are married? It just doesn't happen - at least not often. It was a quiet week, snowy and cold, but Anne was content to just be together, visit, do some cooking and cleaning, play some games and just share. Andrew is the most content child I've ever known. He sleeps a lot and is always happy and smiling. It makes me think maybe my own children were sleep deprived while I tried to keep them awake through the evenings so they'd sleep at night. Annie patiently listented to all my suggestions and then gave me the well thought out reason why she did what she did and allowed me to learn. When will I finally realize that there is little left for me to teach but much for me to share through listening.


Anne has most of the pictures on her camera. I'll try to get them

Passing Through Teachnology

My father died 49 years ago today. Forty-nine years! Wow! It's hard to believe I've even been alive that long. Anything over 50 is an antique so I guess that is an indication of what I am!
I always remember two dates with the passing of my father. The first is the day he had a heart attack - January 8, 1960. The second is the day Lloyd returned home early in the morning and informed us that he had passed away. I was 15. Stuart, Lloyd and Keith were all living at home at the time. Stuart had just returned from his mission in time for Christmas and we had the whole family together on New Year's Day for pictures. The Lord is kind. He gives us such sweet experiences and memories to reflect upon even at such times of parting.

This past week Bob and I viewed the funeral of a Mesa friend, Dennis Barney. The Barney's lived in our neighborhood and ward for many years before moving to Gilbert,while raising their large family Dennis was a big man, physically and spiritually. His wife Ann was such a dear soul and my heart is aching for her daily. It was amazing to us to be able to sit in our home in Rexburg, Idaho while serving a mission, and be able to view the funeral in Mesa Arizona. I'm grateful daily for technology that makes it possible for me to have such experiences.

Sometimes I'd like to be able to show my mom and dad all the things that have come since they lived. I'm sure they already know, but it would be fun to share their reaction. I often wonder what in the world they are doing up there for so many years. I guess someday I'll find out. I'm not in a hurry.