My Dad

I've been thinking a lot about fathers and the part they play in our lives. Of course, with Father's Day celebrations transpiring, it's probably most natural. It's a great thing to stop and think sometimes about fathers. It helps to take time to remember, appreciate, admire and be grateful.

My own father suffered a heart attack at age 55 when I was just 15 years old. Within a week I went from a normal life in a full family to living with my widowed mother and grown brothers. It was definitely a turning point. Though already fairly mature for my age, I was thrust abruptly into adulthood where I felt not only responsible for myself but also somewhat responsible for the welfare of my mom.

In those 15 years my dad had a most definite character-forming, life-directing, effect on my life. I will be eternally grateful for the choices he made and the example he demonstrated of Christlike living. I knew that he loved me, loved my mom and our family and was totally devoted to the Lord.

My dad was a very intelligent, capable and talented man who was given the opportunity to go to high school through considerable adversity. College was never an option for him; though my Mom always thought he would have made a good doctor. He supported our family in very humble occupations which were most often bookkeeping or management responsibilities with small companies. His health was not good and he suffered from problems that made it necessary eventually for him to take very low stress positions. He would never have considered his life and contributions to be very meaningful in a worldly sense, but they were most meaningful in his love, example and service to those around him.

My dad was called on a mission when my parents were planning to marry. They made the decision at that time that they would always put the Lord first in their lives. He filled his mission in Holland and 3 years later they were married. That decision held true throughout his life. He first looked to the Lord and followed his directions, loved and cared for his family and served his fellowman. Those were his priorities.

All people were the same to my Dad. He was a warm man, loved people and had many friends. He loved bus drivers and senators alike and saw no distinction between them. Friends and associates were always welcome in our home along with relatives and those with special needs. People frequently dropped by to visit and we often spent our Sunday afternoons visiting in the homes of others.

Dad and Mom made it a priority to look out for the needs of those who were alone, new in the country, or living without the comforts of life. I'm sure the meals and means they shared were not easy to come by as our own family had little of the extras in life and sometimes missed the necessities, but they never viewed it as a sacrifice. They gave from their hearts just as naturally as a pond that flows into a stream.

My dad was a sensitive man. He was refined and had a very peaceful manner, yet had a wonderful sense of humor and made life fun. In later years he struggled terribly with health issues but did his best to handle them discretely without imposing emotional stress on the family or others. He suffered far greater than any of us children knew and my mom was right by his side dealing with his problems and needs in silence.

Dad was loved by the people he served in the Princeton Ward in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. It was a poor ward with lots of emigrants, widows and other challenges. He loved them and served them in all walks of life. One ward member said, "We love all our bishops but there will never be a bishop like Bishop Poelman". At least to her and the other ward members his life was most meaningful and it surely was to me.

As a true transition person in his family my dad blazed a trail that made it possible for me and my siblings to have many many blessings and opportunities. He valued education and set the stage for his children to pursue higher educational goals by instilling in them a thirst for learning and improving. He served diligently in his Church responsibilities giving us a model to follow, resulting in more joy than I could have imagined. He loved the Lord and trusted Him, qualifying himself for countless blessings, many of which he did not live to realize, but which continue to bless my life.

My sweet husband and children don't know my Dad. He passed away before they came onto the scene, but their lives have been blessed by his love and example as the threads of his choices have weaved through my life and created a culture filled with opportunities and blessings for all of us. I pray that my life might reflect positively on the character of my father. He lived a truly meaningful life. I hope he knows.