Why is it so hard to sit down and write? My husband keeps telling me that I need to write. For some reason the idea that I "need to write" or "have to write" just pushes everything out of my mind. I can't think of a thing to write about. On the other hand, when I am just pondering I have great conversations with myself when I explain how I feel about things and how nice it would be to have those thoughts recorded, in just that way. Writing for me is either there or not. Sometimes I get on a roll and the thoughts just flow. However, if I can't get it together...nothing...blank...not a clue! I wish I could write on demand but it just doesn't happen.
Once my mother-in-law told me that, since my husband was not a strong communicator, I should fill my need by writing the things that I am thinking. Not a bad idea. That's one of the blessings of journals. I've heard that women need to communicate about 25,000 (or so) words a day and men only 10,000(something like that). Ah! There is the problem. A friend of ours said that's why he likes his wife to walk for exercise with other women. That way she can get out several thousand words that he doesn't have to listen to.
I enjoy thinking something through and expressing my views on things...maybe too much, but I also like to listen to the ideas of others. It's not enough to have someone just listen to my babbling, even if they say they enjoy it. I love getting new insights from the expressions of others. It needs to be interactive and mutually fulfilling.
Much conversation is what my son calls, "Cocktail Conversation"... it is social and stays on the surface. Meaningful conversation goes deeper. That's challenging to me because I was carefully taught that you don't ask personal questions and that some things are "none of your business". Therefore, it has facinated me to watch my oldest son and his wife delve into a conversation head first. They are not afraid of asking deep questions and surprisingly, I have found that even strangers appreciate those deeper conversations and the connection it creates in just a short time.
I like to analyze things. Sometmes I analyze things to death! However, I love nothing more than to have a good analytical discussion with someone else who enjoys analyzing, like my son, Bob. We can talk for a good long time, also Carol Lynn and Annie are my "dig deep into a subject" kids. Gratefully, they are anxious and willing to do this little activity with me, their mom, when we can find time. There is some real value to it. We feel close and connected. I know that there are others who would like to pursue this activity but are way too busy, in the throws of raising children. Once in a while it happens, and I love it!
I'm still determined to learn to write. That way if anyone is ever interested, they'll know more about what I've experienced through the years and how it has blessed my life. I just hope I get the opportunity to really share those same things in the lives of my children. Blogs are a big help. I love that several of the girls have blogs. It gives me some insight into what they are thinking and how they feel about life and it often opens the door to my seeing something in a totally new way. I love that!
